The plot of this flick is about the discovery of Jupiter Jones (Mila Kunis). Turns out, she's royalty in the universe, and what a giant universe it is: various 'Houses' are on planets throughout the system, and the House Abraxas has its eye on Jupiter Jones - turns out she is the reincarnation of the mother to the children of the throne James D'Arcy, Tuppence Middleton, and Redmayne. But she's eyed to be killed for reasons that involve things with the Earth and populations and things that I shouldn't go into for too many useless spoilers.
he plot. It's everywhere. The story is all over the place. One minute, it's a comedy. The other, it's a serious Game of Thrones-like kingdom drama. Another minute, It becomes Modern Family. It's everywhere! The plot has no focus whatsoever. It feels like someone grabbed some deleted scenes of his favorite TV shows and put them together on his laptop. Even Memento, though the non-linear narrative is confusing, it still had a simple storyline. Even Inception had focus, despite it's big scale. But those two were great movies. Jupiter was not.
It wastes a cast. Some of these people worked on much better projects and deserve better. All that talent is wasted, especially Channing Tatum, who did a REALLY funny performance in the Jump Street films and Mila Kunis, who resorts to only having one expression throughout the movie. Even Sean Bean is wasted. They give out the worst performances I have ever seen. Plain boring performances that Hollywood always keeps using. They're monotonous.
Honestly the scope is too ambitious to warrant any initial investment in Jupiter or any of the other supporting actors like Channing Tatum and Sean Bean. It's literally just 2 hours of zero-tension action sequences and clichéd dialogue that lead to a resolution that the audience couldn't care less about.
Sure the tech is pretty cool and I was pleasantly surprised by the design of the ships and planetary locales, but the novelty of seeing Channing Tatum ice-skate around the air fighting aliens that pose little threat wears off after the first scene. It's like watching the Jedi take on the droids in the Star Wars Prequels. Why even bother putting them in the way if they don't pose the slightest inconvenience to our protagonists?
By the way, Eddie Redmayne must be cringing that this space garbage is released just before the Oscars, potentially derailing his chances: His bad boy Balem Abrasax is so over the top as to be the only contribution to the satire I was trying to find. Now Sean Bean as Stinger Apini, an aging Han Solo if you will, is a welcome relief of swashbuckling, freewheeling heroism with a touch of larceny.
So the movie itself didn't blow me away in its complexity, just the pictures did. However, it is a good sci-fi movie. Lack of everything. but deep down I enjoyed it.
6/10·IMDb
22%·Rotten Tomatoes
40/100 - Metacritics
5/10 - Verdict
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